DISCLAIMER:

These blogs contain details that pertain to my life. They are true, real, un-sensored, & straight from my biplar mind lol. Some of the things I discuss may cause you to feel strong emotions of anger, frustration, sadness, and you more than likely will not understand where I am coming from. I am not writing for a 'pity party', this is strickly something I just feel good about doing. It's my life, therefore its my perrogative (The exclusive right and power to command, decided, rule or judge) to write about whatever I want. The only person who's opinion matters to me is my husband & he approves of my blogging. In conclusion: You have been warned ~ Read At Your Own Risk!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

My triggers for today

Trying to be consistent with logging my daily mood swings is actually more difficult than you would think.

This is just a small insight to my daily mood swings also known as LIFE: Some of these things don't seem like a big deal to you because you don't have a mood disorder. Most people would probably handle these with ease and keep moving. However, with me being Biploar, The smallest things set me off so keep that in mind lol.

I had Date Night with the hubby last night, so we were out late. I was in bed around midnight but didn't fall asleep until after 1 a.m. due to trying to catchup on shows on my dvr so when Hubby woke me up at 8 a.m. I was feeling horribly tired, & became annoyed when he suggested to be intimate. He then made me wake up and get out of bed by pulling the covers off of me and turning the ac up to 80 because he knows I cant sleep if it's hot, lol yeah, he is smart. It worked, I got up and went into the living room and turned on my laptop thinking getting on FB would help wake me and get my brain going haha.

I managed to cook a good wholesome breakfast while he went to pick the kids up from the sitter (his aunt Nan), bacon, fried eggs and biscuits. Once home, after we ate breakfast, I sent the kids to play in their rooms. What happens, within minutes our toddler decided to pour out all her bins of toys. I became slightly annoyed because I just spent two hours cleaning her room yesterday top to bottom and that's the first thing she wanted to do with her toys, make a mess. So, I then turned to the pile of clothes in my bedroom that needed to be hung up. As I am doing so I hear the outside water turn on: thinking our water bill has jumped $30 from watering the garden twice a day when he is home I go outside and in a rude tone explain to him he is using too much water and its not necessary. Then I go back to the laundry. Hubby comes in and yells for me, says there is something I need to see.  Our oldest daughter  and the toddler made another mess while "making healthy food" to eat for a snack which consisted of Strawberries and bananas & sugar to dip them in. My hubby warned me of the mess ahead of time and said plainly "don't get mad at her", so I thought of it as a cute independent act and moved back to my laundry hanging. Once finished it was time for supper. My sweet husband was asked to pick out something for me to cook and decided on tacos so he got out not one but two packs of hamburger meat and began defrosting them. When I went into the kitchen and found said 2packs I got furious. We have 6 days of cooking to do and only have 2 pks of hamburger meat left, 1 pk pork chops and a few chicken breast left so I felt the extra pk of meat was not needed today. Moving on, while I cooked tacos for supper my sweet hubby tried to lift me on the counter for a sensual moment of kissing but instead i resisted and hit my lower back on counter top(it hurt so I YELLED at him) which brought on a small argument to which we both apologized about.

As if these were not enough triggers. . the biggest trigger of the day: We are potty training our toddler. We stay persistant with her about keeping her panties clean all day, reminding her often about going to the potty. I knew she has not pooped in two days, so it was going to happen today, I just knew it. After supper she had a bath and I layed her down for bed thinking maybe not today. I go to sit and begin to watch my Wed night show as its coming on tv. I hear her walking up the hall and she comes into the living room saying "mommy, help!" As she gets closer I SMELL it. She decided to Poop in her panties. It wasn't a simple poopie terd, it was running up her back! That was it, I couldn't take no more! I simply broke down and cried while cleaning her up.

So, today has been like always, a roller coaster of emotions but we all survived to try again for another day.

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