These blogs contain details that pertain to my life. They are true, real, un-sensored, & straight from my biplar mind lol. Some of the things I discuss may cause you to feel strong emotions of anger, frustration, sadness, and you more than likely will not understand where I am coming from. I am not writing for a 'pity party', this is strickly something I just feel good about doing. It's my life, therefore its my perrogative (The exclusive right and power to command, decided, rule or judge) to write about whatever I want. The only person who's opinion matters to me is my husband & he approves of my blogging. In conclusion: You have been warned ~ Read At Your Own Risk!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Being Labled

When the doctor told me I was bipolar I thought I understood what he meant. I had no questions, and I felt confident that I could take this "sickness" on head strong. Little did I know that once the new wore off I would feel I have no where to turn. No one understands what it truly means to be bipolar, not even me. Going to a therapist is expensive and time consuming, and yet I feel like it really helped. I haven't seen her, my therapist, in several months. I am getting close to my "seasonal manic phase" so I know I need to get back to talking to her.

The only thing I have learned about this "bipolar" label is that you really do go through stages similar to the grieving process. Currently, I am feeling in denial. I don't think I am bipolar. I think life itself is just a roller coaster of emotions and we all experience the ride differently.

Today my mood is: Depressed.
I went to bed sad and woke up sad. I keep getting reminders of people and things that happened in my past. I have moved on and have no desire to go back to this place and yet my heart is still aching. In this circumstance I hope my bipolar disorder changes my mood for tomorrow because depression is not my favorite mood to have.