When the doctor told me I was bipolar I thought I understood what he meant. I had no questions, and I felt confident that I could take this "sickness" on head strong. Little did I know that once the new wore off I would feel I have no where to turn. No one understands what it truly means to be bipolar, not even me. Going to a therapist is expensive and time consuming, and yet I feel like it really helped. I haven't seen her, my therapist, in several months. I am getting close to my "seasonal manic phase" so I know I need to get back to talking to her.
The only thing I have learned about this "bipolar" label is that you really do go through stages similar to the grieving process. Currently, I am feeling in denial. I don't think I am bipolar. I think life itself is just a roller coaster of emotions and we all experience the ride differently.
Today my mood is: Depressed.
I went to bed sad and woke up sad. I keep getting reminders of people and things that happened in my past. I have moved on and have no desire to go back to this place and yet my heart is still aching. In this circumstance I hope my bipolar disorder changes my mood for tomorrow because depression is not my favorite mood to have.
These blogs contain details that pertain to my life. They are true, real, un-sensored, & straight from my biplar mind lol. Some of the things I discuss may cause you to feel strong emotions of anger, frustration, sadness, and you more than likely will not understand where I am coming from. I am not writing for a 'pity party', this is strickly something I just feel good about doing. It's my life, therefore its my perrogative (The exclusive right and power to command, decided, rule or judge) to write about whatever I want. The only person who's opinion matters to me is my husband & he approves of my blogging. In conclusion: You have been warned ~ Read At Your Own Risk!