These blogs contain details that pertain to my life. They are true, real, un-sensored, & straight from my biplar mind lol. Some of the things I discuss may cause you to feel strong emotions of anger, frustration, sadness, and you more than likely will not understand where I am coming from. I am not writing for a 'pity party', this is strickly something I just feel good about doing. It's my life, therefore its my perrogative (The exclusive right and power to command, decided, rule or judge) to write about whatever I want. The only person who's opinion matters to me is my husband & he approves of my blogging. In conclusion: You have been warned ~ Read At Your Own Risk!

Monday, September 21, 2015

Lifestyle Changes. Putting God first.

It's been a long time since I've written a blog post. Just thinking back on where I use to be, compared to how things are now is amazing. There has been positive changes in my life. 

I have surrendered my life to God. I have not missed a day of church in five months. I not only joined a church but I became an active member. I sing soprano in the Praise & Worship team. I help with the outreach ministry, feeding the less fortunate. It isn't just about ME. My children & my husband attend as well. 

My church family is a loving group that don't pass judgment on one another but instead lift up and encourage one another. I've never felt as supported by a church as I do now. I know I am where God wants me to be. 

By following this path, God has blessed my family. In many ways unseen by others. My marriage is changing in a positive way. The way I parent my children is different, using a more Godly approach, with less yelling and spankings. This my kids are soaking in all the positive things they see me doing. We now sit together at the kitchen table for meals and my kids are quick to ask to pray! 

Is my life perfect? No, but having God first has surely made life easier to handle. 

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Learning my BPD

Trying to live "normal" as a person with Bipolar disorder.... 

Social Media has made it so much easier to differentiate between how "normal" people handle situation and how someone with BP would handle it. I do not have people I interact with daily that deal with the same emotional battles as I do, so I am thankful for the several groups I joined on facebook. There is only so much information you can retain by reading about the disorder. For me, I learn best from experience. I know what living with BP is like for me, but am constantly wondering how someone else would handle my daily struggles. 

In the last few years I have became more aware of my triggers. I know the types of things that will set off my anger and also know what will cause me to sink into depression. However, just because I am aware of them, that does not mean I can prevent them from taking over all the time. So, to help deal with my daily struggles I have became familiar with the things that will help ease my racing thoughts and calm me down during my manic phase. The depression is the hardest to deal with. Its easy to hide and pretend everything is ok because i have no choice but to live life. I have kids. I have a job. I have many things that must be done everyday and I simply can not stop my life and crawl into a dark corner and cry my depression away...nor do i think that crying is all that's needed to treat it.  

This is my first time to write in a very long time so I know it is more of a ramble than anything but I hope to get back into a habit of posting regularly.  Its like therapy for me, and after being gone for so long, I've held onto a lot of things that are ready to be released.